Please, Baby, Please
by the-singular-peep
Summary: In which BB-8 needs to watch her mouth. [Rated K plus for swearing. COMPLETE.]


Poe had a lot to get done that day. His files had gotten misplaced and he had to replace his information, his X-Wing needed a tune up, even BB-8 could use a good cleaning and it was time for her to be rechecked for bugs. In short, he was swamped, and he had no time to be distracted. And so, when earlier that day BB-8 was called to be with other droids, Poe did not protest.

Today had been one of those days, and that meant that BB had taken to acting very similar to human toddler, getting herself into all sorts of messes. The droid, of course, could be very mature when she wanted to. That was no secret; she had helped Rey and Finn on their journey greatly so, and had preformed a very dangerous mission when she took the map piece. But, even after all of that, some days BB was more childish than others. Poe's counterparts blamed his droid's behavior as faulty programming, passed it off as if someone had accidentally entered two personality cores. Even so, Poe couldn't help but believe that his droid had real thoughts and feelings, like any human or other living species. BB-8 could have her good days and her bad days, just like how Finn could sometimes act incredibly immature and silly while others he could be the toughest and most serious guy Poe knew. Sometimes BB wouldn't speak and would only communicate in head gestures and different physical interactions; other days she would talk Poe's ears off. Some days she would be stoic and brave while others she would be skittish and afraid. Even some days she could be akin to a human adult, a helpful and mature companion, while others she could be very small and needy, like a human child. Loyal still, and able to switch to maturity when needed, but childish none-the-less. And so, this morning, he had been woken by BB-8 emitting a loud screeching noise. When he had gotten up, _at only four am,_ said droid had managed to get herself wedged behind a bookshelf, with many flying manuals and non-fiction books falling rapidly onto her head. Poe had retrieved her, and fixed her antennae, and thought that he might as well get an early start on his work.

He fixed himself a cup of coffee and sat down at his desk, cracking his knuckles as he looked at the large stack of notifications piling into the tablet-like hologram. He had put this off for too long. He set up the keyboard to match the holographic screen and looked at the first form, then began slowly entering the correct information. Just as he had begun to do so, BB-8 rolled up against his legs with an intense amount of force. Poe hissed, pulling his leg off of the ground in pain. BB looked hopefully up at him. She then looked down at her base sphere, as if to point to all the spots of dirt and grime covering her form.

"Not now, BB." He began, turning back to his work. This stuff _had_ to get done today, no exceptions. Even if his droid was feeling filthy after not being given a wash in far too long. Even if she felt uncomfortable and unhappy. _Even if_ she would be upset and sulky with him for the rest of the day. This hadn't been _Poe's_ fault, necessarily. Ever since he and BB-8 had been reunited, there had been non-stop work. It hadn't been _that_ long, but even so, the droid hadn't had a good cleaning since before they had been initially separated. Sand and mud were caked into her sensors and fans, which, Poe supposed, could have been the reason she had gotten so confused and had wedged herself in between the shelf and the wall. But he couldn't break now to clean her; she could wait until he was done with this paper work. Maybe he'd find a way to make her feel better later, but for right now he couldn't focus on that.

BB-8 slammed into his legs again, angrily beeping incoherent words.

"Beebs, I told you, I'm busy. Later, okay?"

The droid in question beeped angrily, turning and rolling away while still mumbling to herself. Poe hid a laugh. BB-8 looked quite funny, what with her head bouncing as she moved and with tiny, incredibly angry, beeps and boops filling the air. No matter how funny she looked, however, he still felt bad for her. He'd do something special for her later. Maybe polish her or go on a stroll with her around the corridors. (She had to be feeling terribly cooped up, Poe later realizes, as she'd been stuck in that room for far too long.)

He shifted his mind back to his files and, within moments, he became lost in it. Name there, ID number there, he had become completely zoned out. He didn't notice when BB-8 stopped her sulking and decided to entertain herself rather than go into sleep mode. Or when she pushed some pillows off of the small seating area and hopped onto the couches herself. Or when she began to jump, to the best of her ability, among the three chairs, then to the floor on the pillows, trying desperately to avoid the floor. He only noticed when he heard a large crash in place of the near-constant thumping of BB hitting the floor willingly.

It was during times like this that Poe genuinely thought his droid had an imagination of her own. No one had ever _taught_ the droid to do this, and, unless Finn had decided to teach BB to play, she should have no idea what the game even was. Poe would have vaguely remembered doing something similar when he was small, before his mother died, if he had noticed BB-8's game before it had turned disastrous. Nonetheless, BB-8 had now managed to crash into a table holding a lamp, and was currently on the ground covered in shattered glass, trying incredibly hard to shake the lamp shade from her head. Poe sighed heavily, and held the bridge of his nose to prevent the oncoming headache.

"BB-8, what even were you..." He sighed, walking to where his droid was and kneeling to her height. "Bud, how did this even... How." He brushed some glass off of her form and removed the lampshade from her head. She made a contented burbling sound before remembering she was angry with Poe at the moment.

" _Dad-Poe made BB-8 unhappy,"_ She beeped, turning her head stubbornly and refusing to speak anymore.

"I know, BB, and I'm sorry, but this work has to get done, okay? Staying messy won't hurt you for a little bit longer," He tried to give her a sympathetic smile, but she still beeped in protest.

"Hey, I don't see a little bit of grime bothering the other droids, little Miss Priss." BB-8 looked terribly offended, but within moments a signal had cut her off short. Her being became still and an automated voice came from her, requesting the droid's presence elsewhere. The only people Poe could fathom needing to meet her there were other droids, and so he had no qualms with her going.

"Have fun," He said sarcastically as his little droid beeped and bobbled away.

 _Finally,_ he thought as he closed the door. _Some quiet._

He moved back to his desk and sat down, pulling up the first screen and beginning again.

 _Name: Poe Dameron._

* * *

When BB-8 returned hours later, Poe was in a much better frame of mind. He had finished his work and had given his X-Wing a tune up, and now all that remained was giving his droid a bath. The automated door lifted and BB rolled in slowly, looking around for her friend.

" _Dad-Poe?"_ She beeped. Almost instantly he emerged from the small bedroom, the only room other than the bathroom and the living area in the small apartment like space.

"Hey, bud, what'd you get up to today?" BB looked at Poe happily, his mood being much more to her liking than it had been earlier. She rolled to him, eagerly beeping about everything she had done that day. She had been called by C-3PO and R2-D2, she babbled, and they had needed her help!

She was extremely excitable now that her idols had needed _her_ help specifically, and nothing could bring her down. And hearing that she was _finally_ getting the bath she deserved on top of that caused her peeps to become even _more_ excited and joyful.

Poe led BB-8 into the small bathroom where he had already retrieved baking soda and various other cleaning supplies, and began to clean the dirt and grime off of his beloved droid.

After forty minutes to an hour, and lots of splashes and spills (The tile surface wasn't exactly _smooth,_ and it proved to be very difficult for BB to remain stable), BB-8 was practically sparkling. She had been deep-cleaned and polished, and, even though she still remained slightly slippery, she was rolling into the living area absolutely trilling with happiness. Poe had apologized for ignoring her earlier in the day, and they had a nice discussion about how just how _exciting_ and _honorable_ it was for BB-8 to be asked to help the top droids in this unit _again_. The two were still deep in conversation when BB-8 forgot about the step down to the living area and the polish made it impossible to gain traction again, causing her to slip and hit the bookshelf again.

Poe only heard the loud crash followed by a single, loud, beeped word.

" _Fuck!"_

The pilot stood in silence, not really believing what he had heard come from his tiny, precious orb, who, really, he didn't mind acting young. In all honestly, he found it rather endearing and, yes, he knew he could be foul mouthed oftentimes, but he tried his best not to be around BB-8. She couldn't have learned that word from him, could she?

" _Shit,"_ She peeped, her head spinning with the force of the fall. Her sensors felt as if they were stuffed with socks, and it was really rather disorienting, much like a human concussion.

"Where did you hear that?" Poe said frantically, his face etched with horror and confusion. BB looked up at him innocently, her head still spinning an incredible amount. "Who said that?"

BB continued to look up at him, confusion etched on her features as much as it could be for a droid.

" _Dad-Poe, what is the matter?"_ She positioned her body, slight fear quaking in her small chirps.

"Don't.. Don't say those words, BB, okay?" Poe put his hand to the bridge of his nose for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

" _Why not, Dad-Poe? Did 8 do something against your rules?"_ She readjusted her position again, still attempting to orient her sensors. Her entire orb was throbbing. " _Shit.."_

"BB Hyphen Eight, you stop that, or else. Those aren't words you need to say." Poe was becoming agitated now. His sweet, innocent, droid didn't need to be exposed to such vulgarity. Even if he said those words on a regular basis.

BB-8 didn't understand.

" _What words, Dad-Poe? Please inform BB-8 directly of her misbehavior so she can fix the error,"_ She always was extremely obedient, even if Poe constantly informed her that he did not think himself above her, _especially_ since she started showing signs of having her own imagination. Poe sighed again.

"Fuck and Shit, BB. Don't say that. Those aren't.. Where did you hear that?"

" _Friend-R2-D2 said those words, sir. Friend-R2-D2 said many new words 8 hadn't heard before, would Dad-Poe like to have a formatted list?"_

"No, BB, I don't need a formatted list."


End file.
